Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
