What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
