they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
