friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
