We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
