Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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