I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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