apparently the secret to your success is patron
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
