Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize