3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize