gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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