so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
