And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
