Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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