Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
