I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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