We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize