the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
