your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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