k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
