You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
