Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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