We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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