At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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