Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
