I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
