My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
