I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We need a shit load of segways right now
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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