we have officially lost it.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
