she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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