She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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