she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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