I'm really into asian looking animals
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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