Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
