I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
