you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
