I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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