Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
