he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
