He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
