You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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