I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
