first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
