I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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