Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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