just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize