I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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