Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
