youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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