I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I cockslap morals
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
