Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
