they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
