I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
