It's Friday. Sex?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
