Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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