I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
