Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
