I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
