As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
this will be a night to untag.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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