More tranny stories later!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
