I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
