he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
