Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
