My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
