I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize