I must be too annoying 4 u.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
