so let's talk penis.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
