all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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